Dumpster Fire or Burning Bush?

It had been such a fun night! My family was coming home from an evening of cooking out, swimming, and popping fireworks with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. (Man, I miss those days of family gatherings!) The back of the pickup truck contained the carcasses of Roman Candles, Sparklers, fountains, and artillery shells. We pulled up to the dumpster to unload the firework remains in the dumpster and headed inside with visions of pyrotechnics in our heads.

As we began getting ready for bed, I started to smell something. Smoke, maybe? I looked out the window and yelled, "The dumpster is on fire!!!!!" Oh lawzy, the neighbors were going to LOVE this!!! I was REALLY hoping they wouldn't see us! We scrambled around for a crazy minute trying to decide what to do. The boys and Rodney ran to the alley and I ran to the backyard to grab the water hose. They threw open the lid and I stood in the back yard on the deck of the pool, hose in hand, shooting water over the fence and into the dumpster. It was a bit like the Beverly Hillbillies Celebrate Independence Day. It was quite a sight! (Sure am glad we didn't leave them in the back of the truck though!) I laugh every time I remember that scene. 

Do you ever feel like your life is a bit of a dumpster fire? Things are just a hot mess and you can't seem to get a grip on it? You run around in a panic trying to figure out how to put the flames out, but the proverbial hose in your hand just doesn't seem to be working? Boy, sometimes I do. There are seasons where nothing seems to work, things aren't what I hoped they'd be, and life is hot, hot, hot!  The fire can be all kinds of things - worry, fear, anxiety, family problems, money problems, or even something that you just can't put your finger on. You feel consumed by the flames of what you are going through and a little voice in your head whispers, "Nothing to see here" as others pass by and you hope no one will notice the fire.

My biggest dumpster fire of the day is The Nuisance (Cancer) and all the sparks it sends out into other areas of my life. We recently had our consultation with my surgeon following the Tumor Board's review of my case at MD Anderson. There is some good news and some not-so-good news. The good news is that the board does believe surgery is an option for me right now. We are grateful for that! We know that surgery is really the only way you get rid of cancer. Chemo and Radiation help manage and reduce, but it doesn't usually get rid of it on its own. And chemo is some tough stuff. We are so grateful that surgery is a possibility. Even if it is a tough one. 

The bad news is that the spot we treated with radiation in 2018 appears to have grown. That spot is a lymph node. (Which is a whole other story I will tell you soon!) That was a curveball. The lymph node is near my carotid artery, heart, and other important veins and arteries. If it is The Nuisance, we won't have time to watch and see like we can with the other spots. We will need to do surgery now. The other spark of that fire is that right now COVID protocols would not allow anyone to be at the hospital in Houston with me. That would stink worse than smoldering trash! Surgery will be a thoracotomy which is where they go through my ribs in the back and will remove the lining from my lung, scrape my diaphragm, and grab any visible spots they can see throughout my chest. Those flames are pretty hot, but God is bigger!

The first step to dealing with this fire is heading to Houston for a biopsy to see what is going on in the lymph node. We need to determine if the spot is active or if this is just the ashes and embers of the old flame. If it is Nuisance then we sound the alarm and are on the fast track to surgery. If it isn't, prayerfully, then we will be looking at surgery in the future but can wait a little while to see if COVID protocols change to allow me not to be alone. 

Today I was reading about a fire that happened once upon a time. There was this guy who was out tending to some of his farm animals. Out in the pasture with no one but his sheep, he noticed a fire in the distance. He decided to go check it out. As he got closer he could tell it was a bush fire, but the strangest thing was that the bush was not being burned up. Curiosity piqued, he went closer. As he did, he heard a voice come from the bush. Now that is different. The voice said, "I have seen and heard you and I am concerned for you! I am going to rescue you. I am God". (Paraphrased version- check out Exodus 3 for the full details.) The man was obviously taken back and at that moment the entire direction of his life was changed. In the past when I have read that story, I have always focused on the man and the message, but today I was drawn to the bush. The bush was on fire, but not consumed. It had the purpose of drawing the man, Moses, to God. 

It made me think about the fires we experience in life again. When those flames of trial lick our lives it can be classified as a dumpster fire OR a burning bush. It is a matter of perspective, choice, and faith. A dumpster fire is going to be consuming; it will incinerate, melt, and destroy everything it touches. It is going to really stink, and it serves very little purpose. It will burn us up!

But a burning bush is different. It serves as an invitation to draw closer to God in order to hear his love for us, his concern for our circumstances, and his desire to rescue us. The burning bush may still be hot, but it will not consume us. It doesn't scorch our hearts and reduce our lives to ash. In fact, there is something beautiful about it. A burning bush has purpose. 

Trial by fire is a guarantee in this life. There is no insurance, no flame retardant, no smoke alarm that will keep us from it, BUT we can choose how we respond. We can be a Dumpster Fire or a Burning Bush. One will consume, destroy, and stink to high heaven and the other will withstand the flames, draw us to God, and allow us to experience a little heaven in the midst of the smoke.

When the spark of heartache becomes a blaze hardship and threatens to burn you alive what will you be? Dumpster Fire or Burning Bush? (Be a Bush!!!!!!)

Love ya! Mean it!

The Shrinky Dink Effect

Do you remember Shrinky Dinks? Maybe I am dating myself, but as a kid, I loved them! They were sheets of plastic with blackline images printed on them. You colored in the images with colored pencils, cut them out, and placed them on a cookie sheet. You placed them in the oven, and the heat would cause them to curl up and shrink down in size. When the process was complete, you were left with a small, hardened version of the image you had put in.

Have you ever seen the Shrinky Dink Effect in real life? I think it happens sometimes. A person is put into the oven of life. Something takes place that really turns up the heat. As a result, that person begins to shrivel up and harden. Just a small reflection of who they once were. It makes me wonder how we can go through a trial by fire and avoid curling up and becoming hardened by the Shrinky Dink Effect?

I think of other substances that go through fire and come out better. Take glass, for instance. Made from sand and ash, these substances become something new under extreme heat. They shift from dry particles to something that is moldable. Add the breath of a glass smith, and the molten glass begins to take on a new form. With skilled movements, the glassblower transforms the blob into something beautiful and useful.

It is the breath and the skilled hands of the glass smith that make all the difference. It reminds me of Genesis 2:7. "Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature."  When we find ourselves in the oven of life, we can choose to be like the shrinky dink and curl up and harden, or we can choose to place ourselves in the hands of the glass smith - the one who can turn us into something new with his breath and form us into something beautiful with his hands.  This requires an act of submission and focus. I have found that when I focus on myself and the flames, I become curled up and hardened. But as soon as I place myself in the hands of the master, I find the flames, while hot and painful, serve a purpose in my life that WILL BE SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL.

My sweet friend, I wish that I could tell you that you won't face the heat, but 2020-2021 is certainly demonstrating how untrue that is. What I can tell you is that you can choose how you come out on the other side. What would you prefer? Hard and shriveled or transformed and beautiful? Stay focused on yourself and the flames, and I can guarantee that your heart will shrivel. Put yourself in God's hands, and you will be okay! (Trust me, I have tested him many times on this!) 

So maybe that goes against your nature, and you don't know where to start. As a control freak who thought (okay, sometimes still does) for so long that I could fix things on my own, I have a few suggestions. 

First, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight."  Proverbs 3:5  Why can you trust him? Because he has GOOD plans for you. "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. 

Then, keep your eyes focused on him. Read your bible. Pray. Hang out with people who encourage you in your faith. Go to church. Sing some worship music. The moment your eyes shift, you will feel the Shrinky Dink effect. Remember Peter in Matthew 14: 22-33 when he was walking on water? The second he shifted his eyes from Jesus to the waves, he began to sink (which rhymes with shrink!). Keep those eyes steady!

Finally, let him do his work in you. "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God." Romans 8:28 When you submit yourself into his hands, you allow him to take the bad and turn it for good. That is what he wants.

May the only Shrinky Dink Effect you will experience in life takes place while you are crafting! You were meant to become something beautiful!

Feeling Off Balance? A Little Y.O.G.A. Lesson for the Soul

Recently I have taken up Yoga. With all the craziness in the world adding in a bit of calm seemed like a pretty good plan! I have downward dogged, cat-cowed, and happy babied myself into thinking this is something I can really get into. A little breathing, a little stretching, a bit of strengthening, and a dash of balance. I can handle that!  I was feeling pretty good about myself. That is until Standing Tree Pose…with my arms overhead…and my eyes closed. That was the kicker. As long as I could keep my eyes focused ahead I was AWESOME!!!  Okay, I was decent, but at least I was upright and not wobbling all over the place. But the second I had to close my eyes, BOOM, the earthquake hit, I started falling and the Tree Pose became more of a rolling boulder. Yes, a beautiful sight to behold. Not very zen!

How many times a day does that happen to you? You’re focused, you’re balanced, and then BOOM the wheels fly off and you find yourself drowning in a sea of chaos. 2020 and its step-sister 2021 are the perfect pictures of that! How in the world are we supposed to stay balanced and peaceful in a world gone crazy? And boy, do I mean crazy!!! The answer is yoga. No, not the practice. The acronym. (Okay, so I just made this up, but stick with me here. It works!). Want peace and calm to rule your heart? Do Y.O.G.A.- You Only Gaze Ahead.

Disaster happens when we lose focus and start looking to the left and the right or when we squeeze our eyes shut and get lost in our own heads (yep, that can be the badlands). We have to remember that perfect peace is straight ahead! Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” I see two parts to that verse. First, we have to be steadfast (focused) and second, we have to trust God. If I am focusing on God, but don’t really trust him to care for me I will wobble. If I trust Him, but keep my focus on the chaos I miss out on all He has to offer. 

Peace comes when we focus on the one who is in control instead of focusing on the world around us. Colossians 3:2 says, “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” Think about the last time you were thrown off balance by anxiety or fear. My bet is you were focused on earthly things-- politics, social media, news, and other people. Those things CANNOT bring you the peace and balance you are seeking. 

So follow me for a little Y.O.G.A. lesson straight from God’s Word. I want you to breathe deeply with me as you read these words that were written just for you!

Breathe in. “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.” Breathe out.

Breathe in. “Pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body”. Breathe out.

Breathe in. “Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. “ Breathe out.

Breathe in. “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear...but seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Breathe out.

Life is crazy. God is not. The world is chaotic. God is peace. Do your Y.O.G.A. each day -- if You ONLY Gaze Ahead you will discover the peace you crave and the balance that you desire. No downward dog needed!