The Black Dot

I recently read a story of an unusual test given by a professor. It went a little something like this.  One day, a professor entered his classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. They all waited anxiously at their desks for the exam to begin.

The professor handed out the exams with the text facing down, as usual. Once he handed them all out, he asked the students to turn over the papers.

To everyone’s surprise, there were no questions–just a black dot in the center of the paper. The professor, seeing the expression on everyone’s faces, told them the following: “I want you to write about what you see there.” The students, confused, got started on the inexplicable task.

At the end of the class, the professor took all the exams and started reading each one of them out loud in front of all the students.

All of them, with no exception, defined the black dot, trying to explain its position in the center of the sheet. After all the tests had been read, the classroom silent,  the professor began to explain:

“I’m not going to grade you on this, I just wanted to give you something to think about. No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot – and the same thing happens in our lives. However, we insist on focusing only on the black dot – the health issues that bother us, the lack of money, the complicated relationship with a family member, the disappointment with a friend. The dark spots are very small when compared to everything we have in our lives, but they are the ones that pollute our minds. Take your eyes away from the black dots in your lives. Enjoy each one of your blessings, each moment that life gives you. Be happy and live a life filled with love!”

As I read that tale I recognized the truth of it. It truly does seem to be in our nature to focus on the "black dots" in our lives and miss the blessings all around us. Do you do it, too? I have a running list in my mind of my failures, my shortcomings, my mistakes, and my problems. If I am not careful they can steal my joy.

This week we went to MD Anderson to check on The Nuisance. Because of COVID that trip carries a little more anxiety these days. Rodney is not allowed to enter the hospital with me so I go through the tests, the scans, and the appointments alone. A mind can run away pretty quickly when alone. Yesterday I sat quietly waiting to hear the results of my scans. Once the report was handed to me my mind QUICKLY landed on the words recurrence, mass, increased, malignancy. My pulse quickened, my breathing stopped, my world quivered. I listened as they rattled the options. Things I have heard too many times before. Surgery, chemo, trials... none of which carry guarantees. The room turned into one giant black dot. I listened. I gathered my things. I walked out alone. 

It takes some time for my head and my heart to work things through, but gradually I collect my thoughts and find my center. In those moments I am reminded of a story from my earlier days with the Nuisance about boxing gloves. I am taken to the mat, but I am not alone. Slowly I find my way to my knees, then my feet, then I pull myself up to continue the fight. When I reread the scan today I noticed other words around the black dot. Stable. No new. Slight. Yesterday my mind could only see the black dot. Today I realize that isn't all there is to the story. It is true that I have some recurrences of malignancies. It is true that there is growth. It is true there is cause for concern. There are black dots to be sure. But there are also some spots that are stable. There are no new places noted. There are some things to be grateful for even on a "bad" report. And for that I am grateful. 

Each day you and I are taking a test. A test of perspective. A test of will. A test that will determine the amount of peace, hope, and joy that we will, or will not, experience in our lives. What will we focus on?

Today I was in a sinking spell. The black dot was blocking out my vision so I did what I have learned to do. I opened my bible to marked passages that get my thoughts back on track. I read 2 Corinthians 1:8-11  We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.  Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.  He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

I was reminded how many times in the past eight years I have felt I couldn't withstand the weight of The Nuisance. So many times I have felt the sentence of death. But I am reminded that all of this has taught me to be fully dependent on the ONE who makes me brave. My doctors cannot save me. I cannot save me. My family and friends cannot save me, but my GOD? He HAS saved me. Over and over. He has done it before and he can do it again. He has delivered me and YOUR PRAYERS have played a part in that. Your prayers help me see the white paper and not focus on the black dots. You and I can give thanks because God always answers our prayers -- even when we may think he hasn't.

I have a literal black dot on my chest. It was tattooed there when I received radiation treatments to make sure the machine was hitting the right spot. It sits beside a scar that runs from my collarbone to below my diaphragm. That black dot can serve as a reminder of the battle or as a reminder of the victory. I choose to see the victory. I choose to see the blessings of provision, of love, of prayer, of healing.

I have been handed a test. It is a piece of white paper with a black dot on it. I will pass this test. I will spend more time writing about the white than the black dot. How about you? Grab your proverbial pen and write about the white space! The black dot is tiny in comparison!

Work that Core!

Like so many others during COVID-19 I spent the first few weeks eating all the good stuff. Having the boys back home from college brought out the motherly need to cook all the good things-- and I mean the GOOD things (with extra cheese please)! The boys dodged the Freshmen-15 only for me to hit us with the COVID-19! It was a good run, but something had to change! I started to realize COVID-19 wasn't going to be a sprint but a marathon so I better stop cooking like it was one big holiday. Back to clean food and exercise for me! Now if you're thinking, see ya later Anna, I didn't know this was going to be a blog about diet and exercise, don't bail on me yet! There is something here for you, I promise!

I begin pressing play on my workout videos to help offset the bulge! As a part of any exercise program, you spend a large amount of time working on your core. Balance is about your core. Strength is about your core. Speed is about your core. Flexibility is about your core. Endurance is about your core. Everything is improved when you strengthen your core. Yet when we ignore our core we quickly lose that inner strength that impacts so many areas.

Most of you probably know that this week I didn't get the reports I was wanting at my check-up at MD Anderson. The Nuisance (aka cancer) is continuing to grow so we are deciding what our next steps are. Weighing Risk and Reward as we decide when to do treatment and when to hold steady. Dealing with a challenge like this (or like a rocky marriage, an unstable financial situation, COVID, crazy kiddos, etc., etc., etc.) requires a lot of strength. It throws off balance. It requires you to be more flexible to adjust to life. Sometimes you have to act with speed and sometimes you have to act with endurance. And do you know what you need to be able to do all those things? Yep, a strong core. 

If I have learned one thing in life it is that successful navigation is contingent not upon my personal strength (I don't have enough), but on the strength of my core. Without that solid foundation, the slightest hiccup in life can throw a person off-balance and rob them of their endurance, but with it, there is flexibility and speed to react and overcome. Sometimes people ask me how I am so strong. Let me be clear I AM NOT! But my core is. Having a foundation built on Christ is what helps me navigate. He is the source of my balance, my strength, my flexibility, and my endurance. 

Matthew 7:24-27 says this, "24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

When we have a strong core, a firm foundation, we have the ability to weather the storms of life-- my storm, your storm, big storms, little storms. So how do we build this strong core? Good news - no sit-ups or planks required!!!! A strong core is built by developing a relationship with God. For me, that is through reading my bible, memorizing scriptures, praying, and worshiping him through song. Sometimes this is in a formal way like going to church or having a quiet time, but to be honest my best "workouts" happen as I am going about my day. I see a facebook post and say a quick prayer, I listen to worship music on my walks, I say a verse in my mind to the rhythm of my walking. Building a core isn't hard, it just requires taking action. It requires that you shift your focus from the distractions and problems to the one who can manage them.

Friend, I don't know what trials you are facing. I don't know the size of the problem, the depth of the pain, the length of the struggle. But I do know what it is to have them. Boy, do I know! I know fear, I know doubt, I know worry. They are so familiar to me. They are the enemy to balance, strength, flexibility, and endurance. But we have been given the weapon to overcome them. Focusing our attention on them makes them stronger. We have to build our core. So let me be your trainer today. Let me help you build your workout plan. Today fill your mind with music that helps you worship (If you have Amazon music I will link a playlist I have  been building  below that you might enjoy.) Replace your worry with prayer. Tell God your fears and worries. He is big enough to handle them! Open your bible and read a little. If you don't know a place to start I love Psalm 91. If you want a practical book to study I adore James. 

I wish I could tell you I know how to make our problems go away. I don't. I do know however that a strong core will give us the foundation we need to get through it! Back in the 80's my sisters and I would do the 20-Minute workout on TV. They would call out, "I know you're tough, I know you're strong, come on, come on, come on, come on." We would make fun of that, but it is funny how often it will run through my mind when life is tough. So let's throw on some leg warmers and set our minds to building that strong core! " I know you're tough, I know you're strong, come on, come on, come on, come on."

Anna's Playlist

The Storyteller

One of my favorite childhood memories is of days spent on my uncle’s ranch in Gail, Texas. My grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins would spend the day exploring, hunting arrowheads, and fishing. As the sun began to set on that red clay piece of land we would head back up to the old ranch house. The rustic old house had no electricity or running water and there was something about that that could transport me back in time. While the adults made themselves busy packing up for the day, we kids would gather on the floor around a chair for storytime. With a lantern lit and reflecting dramatically on the face of the storyteller we would lean in to hear the tale. Most often one of my aunts or older cousins would be the storyteller and usually, the story was spooky. The darker it got outside the spookier the stories became. As the tale reached the climax, you could feel yourself tensing up. I would tell myself that this time I wasn’t going to jump and scream. After all, I could anticipate it coming and I was becoming a big kid. No more jumping for big kids. The storyteller would drop their volume causing us to have to lean forward to hear. They would slooowwww down their paaaaacceee, and begin...to speak...in a whisper soooooooooo soft that you …..could hardly…..HEAR IT!!!!! That is when they got you! That little yell right at the end. We would all jump and fall into a fit of laughter acting like we weren’t REALLY scared, (okay, maybe just a little).

For seven years I have been dealing with The Nuisance. Each time I sit waiting for my reports I am just like that kid again. I can anticipate what is coming. I am a “big kid” at this now. No more jumping for “big kids”.  Whatever is coming I won’t be afraid. The room gets deathly quiet as I listen for the footsteps of the doctor coming down the hall. As he comes in I lean forward in my chair. I tell myself that I won’t be caught off guard. I won’t “jump”. This time was especially strange. Because of COVID I had to go in by myself. Everything seems scarier when you are alone. Trying to hear, not be afraid, ask the right questions, and keep it together required a whole new level of focus as I braced myself, determined “not to jump”. I know who has me so I don’t have to be afraid. The doctor begins to tell the story… “We have the reports from your scans…(suspense builds. Don’t jump, Anna, don’t jump) unfortunately,  (I don’t think there was a dramatic pause there, but it sure felt like it) things are continuing to progress. And just like every other time I jumped. He began to run through the options which are a trial with immunotherapy which will require me to go to Houston every three weeks for treatment or I can do chemo. Surgery and radiation are not on the table right now since the spots are not all in the same location.  I don’t have to decide today, he tells me. Talk it over with your family and let us know. Logic says I knew that was coming and yet it still gets me every single time. I jumped.

The day or so after one of these visits there is a lot of wrestling that goes on in my mind. Trying to process, trying to problem solve, trying to predict is messy business. I hate that part, but every time it happens God gives me a gift that helps me work it through. This time the storyteller was my gift. You know the cool thing about being a storyteller is that you get to decide how to tell the story. When I was a kid whoever was sitting in the chair got to pick the topic and the story, but they weren’t the only ones with choice. There was also a choice about whether to listen or not. No one said we HAD to sit and listen. We chose that. 

In life, we have to be careful about the stories we are listening to. I think that is super evident in the world we are living with right now. We are being tossed about by all kinds of storytellers, but who is speaking the truth? Who is speaking from a place of wisdom? Who should we be listening to?  We have to have so much discernment to sit at the feet of the right storyteller. As I wrestle more with the news I received this week I have a choice. I can listen to the storyteller who says The Nuisance is growing and proceeds to tell me all the scary things associated with that or I can listen to the storyteller who acknowledges that The Nuisance is growing but goes on to add that it is still slow (PRAISE GOD) it is not pressing on an organ (PRAISE GOD) I can postpone treatment a little longer (PRAISE GOD). Why in the world would I stay locked in on the storyteller of fear when I can listen to the storyteller of  PRAISE?! And just like that, I am released from the fear that tries to grab me. In a bible study a few weeks ago our teacher said,  “Praise powers perspective.” I find that to be so wise and so true. As soon as we shift our ears to the storyteller of praise our whole perspective on a situation can begin to change. 

So here I sit at a crossroads of decision. One that I have been sitting at for the past year and a half. I feel so good right now and the boogers are not pressing on any organs to cause immediate danger. It is hard to think of sacrificing all of that. I am in the strangest place of measuring risk against reward. Chemo and immunotherapy can trigger a whole new series of problems and one lesson I have learned is that there are some things worse than cancer. So I am pondering. I am praying for wisdom. Sometimes being still is the wisest choice. As I sit in the stillness I will choose to listen to the storyteller of praise. I will listen to the true author of my story and the one who knows both the beginning and the end. God has never failed me. He will not start now!

You have storytellers jockeying for your attention as well. They are trying to get you to lean in and listen. Some are selling fear, some are selling anxiety, some are selling flat out lies. Choose your storyteller wisely. They may hold the seat but they do not have to hold your attention. When you are overwhelmed by fear and anxiety let the storyteller of PRAISE change your focus. Remember the ONE true story.

As I shift the narrative of my story from one of fear to praise, I am thankful for you! I am thankful for your encouragement and prayer. I am thankful to God who has been so faithful in my past allowing me to know he will continue to be faithful in my future. I am thankful for my family, my friends, my church, and my coworkers who love me through hard times. I cannot do this alone. Thank you for helping me rewrite my story!

A Disobedient Mind and a Pony

Do you ever decide to do something only to find that your mind will not cooperate? It goes something like this:

You:  "I am going to work out everyday this week!" 
Mind: "Um, you know there is a new season of your show on Netflix, right? I don't think so." 

You: "I am going to eat healthy." 
Mind: "After this Oreo (package), perhaps." 

You: "I am going to clean out my closet today."
Mind: "You might be able to fit into those jeans from high school someday. Better slow your roll."

You: "I am going to stick to my budget this month."
Mind: "SALE!!!!!"

You: "I am going to choose Joy." 
Mind: "Actually, I'd like to remind you of 12,000 reasons that you absolutely will not!"

Sound familiar to you? I feel ya! My mind and I have been having a little bit of a discipline issue this week and like a stubborn 2 year old, it just has not wanted to submit to authority! 

This week we went back to MD Anderson to check on the Nuisance (aka cancer). We did the usual blood work, scans, and doctors. We have been through this many times over the past seven (hard to believe) years. The reports were a mixed bag. There was some growth noted on the spots we have been watching. Not what I wanted to hear. The good news is the spots are not compromising my health right now and we are going to continue our watch and see approach.  But here is how my mind game has gone this week:

Me: "Not exactly what I hoped for, but I am SOOO grateful that we get to coast a little longer and that the growth is slow!"
Mind: "But didn't you hear, it GREW?!"

Me: "But it grew slow and I feel GREAT. That is something to be thankful for!"
Mind: "Listen, it GREW. It is PROGRESSING. You may have avoided treatment for now, but you know that won't last forever, right?"

Me: "Maybe you're right. (anxiety creeps up) Maybe I should be worried about that.(sighs deeply, swallows hard)  Here, will you hold my joy while I worry about that awhile?"
Mind: "Of course I will. I am here for you. A person in your position doesn't really have time for joy anyway."

That has been the last few days in my head and it makes me so mad! I have been shown over and over and over in the past seven years that there is always something to be grateful for.There is always hope. There is joy if you seek it.  I know that things can be okay even if things are not all right.  And yet I always get knocked down for a bit after I get bad news. My mind is disobedient. And that infuriates me!

I read some brain research this week that the brain perceives negative stimuli faster and with more intensity that positive stimuli. In fact, the research shows that positive experiences are harder for us to spot. In tests they have noted that the brain picks up on negative stimuli within 1/10th of a second. However, positive experiences must be focused on for 12 seconds longer before we retain it in our memory. That shows that our human nature is to pick up on the negativity around us. We have to work to overcome that bias. We are wired to perceive threats and respond quickly. Sometimes that tendency defeats our pursuit of happiness. There is a verse that I have come to understand in a whole new way in the past years. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." Our human nature sometimes argues against what we know to be true about the character of God. I know him to be a provider, a healer, and a sustainer. Yet my nature argues and struggles against that when I am threatened. In those moments I have to fight all the harder to make my thoughts obedient to what I know to be true. 

You and I are in a constant battle for our minds. Whether we are trying to change a habit, change a behavior, or change an emotion, sometimes we are having to fight our own selves. It is possibly the most important battle we will ever fight. We have a choice in EVERY circumstance about how we will respond and how we will view the world around us. In a world that can seem especially dark right now this is an important skill to acquire. It is okay to take a hit and experience some pain and sorrow, but if we want to have a quality life we can't sit there long. We have to SEEK THE GOOD even in the bad. It reminds me of a story I heard this week of twin brothers. One was an eternal optimist, the other an eternal pessimist. Their father sought to balance them out. He took the eternal pessimist into a room filled with the best and shiniest toys. The brother immediately began to cry. The father was surprised by the reaction when the boy began to whine, "They will probably all break or get lost." He walked his optimistic son to the next room which was filled with manure. The stench almost knocked them over when they opened the door. To his shock the optimistic son jumped into the manure and started digging. The father cried, "What are you DOING?!" to which the happy boy replied, "There MUST be a pony in here SOMEWHERE!"

We, my friends, have choices. In the best of times we can choose to focus on the negative and lose our joy and in the worst of times we can focus on the positive and find it. It is a matter of controlling our disobedient minds. I want to challenge you to set your intentions on holding your thoughts captive and seeking the positive around you. Take charge of your internal dialogue and remember all the blessings of the past. In all things there is something good if we seek it. Look for the ponies!

A Forest in a Wasteland

Lately I have looked at the world around me and been overwhelmed by the erosion of the society around me. Hate, fear, anger, frustration, sadness, negativity and evil seem to whittle away at our country and world. Today I saw a video that touched my heart and spoke to my soul. The video is of a man named Jadev Payeng. He is from an island in India called Manjuli. This island has been impacted by flooding that has eroded much of the area and left a vast emptiness in its path. Man has cut down trees and brought destruction causing the erosion to be even worse. Man seems to have a way of doing that. Jadev Payeng saw the destruction and determined to make a difference. In 1979 he began to plant one tree a day in the middle of this desert like environment. Day after day, tree after tree, Jadev has grown a forest that is now larger than central park. Jadev's story reminds me of many lessons.

Good deeds produce fruit.
When Jadev began planting trees he shares that the work was very difficult, but over time the trees began to produce their own seeds making the process much easier. Can you imagine the overwhelming impossibility that must have confronted Jadev in the beginning as he walked to a barren area and planted seedlings? He planted one, and stood up to see the vast emptiness around him. He returned for a whole year and yet when he looked around the impact must have seemed minuscule. The thought of giving up had to have crossed his mind many times and yet over and over he returned. One small seedling at a time he began to make a difference. The seeds he planted began to bear fruit and multiply.  A single seedling became a "dense forest in a barren wasteland".

You and I may be feel paralyzed by the barrenness around us. It may seem overwhelmingly impossible to change the chaotic world we live in, but if each day we will persistently plant one good seed then over time we begin to see those seeds produce their own fruit. If I plant my seeds in the vicinity of your seeds then the work progresses even more quickly. In the beginning the change may barely seem noticeable. Giving up will be tempting, but if we persist our good deeds WILL produce fruit. A treeline of good deeds will begin to form and even transform the community around us. More seeds will be planted, we will slow the erosion of the society around us, and the forest we create will begin to cast shadow on the desert around us.  That shadow has the ability to bring a coolness to an otherwise hot "climate". Change begins.

Good deeds bring life.
As Jadev's forest continued to grow, birds and animals that had left the area began to return. Elephants, birds, tigers and deer now inhabit the trees and roam the area. Planting the trees brought back life.

Sometimes it seems as though the negativity that surrounds us is driving away the good. People retreat to their cellphones, computers, and social media. They post things online that they would never say face-to-face. We talk more and hear less. We seek to be understood and stop seeking to understand. Families break up, friendships are destroyed, erosion continues and the desert grows, but it doesn't have to be that way.  If, like Jadev, we plant seeds of goodness in the world around us we begin to notice that life returns. Families gather at the dinner table, friends reconnect, people begin to listen. The phones and texts stop and conversations begin. Life returns. I want to see our children thrive. I want to see families rebuilt. I want to see people begin to turn towards one another and stop turning on each other. We can influence that. We must influence that.

Good deeds will be attacked.
As Jadev's forest grew and the animals returned so did a new threat. Man. Man poaches the animals. Man cuts down the trees. Man can destroy a forest much faster than one can be planted. Jadev has to be watchful and care for what has been planted. He needs others to help in that process.

There are those in our world, as sad as it is, who actively attack what is good and right. Their words kill as effectively as a poacher. They are destructive and consider the good of themselves over the good of the whole.  The refuse to put down their weapons. You and I, the planters, have to protect what is planted. We must guard the precious life around us. We must speak for those who cannot speak for themselves, protect those who are defenseless and not be hampered when the task seems daunting. Good deeds will be attacked. DO THEM ANYWAY!!! There will always be opposition, but the benefits outweigh the cost of doing good.

I can't help but wonder if Jadev knew in 1979 that he was planting a forest. I have a feeling he thought he was just planting a tree. You and I have no idea the impact that will be made when we plant a seed. We can save a metaphorical environmental, change a society's climate, and bring life to a barren world. Let's plant a tree!

The Forest Man

A Matter of Perspective

I love taking the back roads to work in the morning. Having a chance to see wide-open spaces is good for my soul.  It seems that as my mind wanders on these treks that somehow my thoughts become organized into nice little lessons on life. Today was one of those mornings. I traveled in silence. No radio. No distractions. My thoughts drifted from prayers, to lists, to my calendar. It visited a hurting country,  a worried world and thoughts about my trip to MD Anderson next week. I glanced to the right. Outside my passenger window was a heavy, grey, dreary sky. I looked to the left. I drew a quick breath at the site of a beautiful sunrise. Warm colors burst across the horizon. I quickly grabbed my phone to snap the pictures above. The photos were taken within a second of one another, but one would never know for the contrast is amazing.

Life is like that. It is all a matter of perspective.  I snapped these two pictures from the same seat of the same car on the same road on the same day in the same circumstances, but my preview of the day looked very different depending on my choice of focus. Our perspective matters. We have the opportunity each and every day, hour, minute, second to CHOOSE how we view the world. We can focus on the clouds, on the haze, on the darkness. We can allow that to be our reality. We can live a dreary little life. Or maybe we look the other way. Maybe we seek the light, the brilliance, the warmth. Maybe we CHOOSE to see the good. Both exist, we choose which one we embrace.

I can't imagine a lesson being more timely. We are in a strange place politically, socially and spiritually right now. We don't agree. We are having a hard time understanding one another. What doesn't make sense is being labeled with dark words. Our national mood is heavy. Our future appears dreary. We have to make a decision. How will we view one another? How we will view our nation? How will we view our future? Will we continue to see the darkness or will we shift our focus and look for the light in one another? Will we choose to see our variations as parts of a beautiful future on the horizon? Will we see our shades of differences with hope and appreciation?

In my personal life I am headed back for some appointments that can be a little (a lot) unnerving. I can focus on dread, on fear, on worry, but why, oh why, would I want that? Why would I choose to see that when I can see promise, grace, hope and mercy?

Perspective becomes reality my sweet friends. Our journey through this life is a matter of perspective and our perspective matters! You must choose. I must choose. Do we look to the east or look to the west? Do we seek the grey or turn our face to the warmth of a new day? I won't live in the darkness. I don't have to. I won't wallow in worry and fear and hate. You and I can disagree and still have peace among us. As I travel down this road of life I have made my choice. I choose beauty. I choose warmth. I choose a new day. How about you? Do you need sunglasses or an umbrella for your journey?

But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve... But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:15

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5

"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12

Snapshots

Don't get caught up in the early 90's hair-do, but this picture has such a great life lesson in it. 

What do you see when you look at this image? You probably notice the tears. You can't hear the sobs, but I promise you they were there. This photo was taken in a moment that knocked the breath out of me. I was overcome with emotion in a way I had never experienced before. My family stood nearby. They, too were caught off-guard by the unexpected emotional wave as it swept through the room.  While this snapshot reveals a highly emotional moment, it is not the complete picture. You see the camera is limited in that it can only capture what it is focused on. It is unable to display all of the other details that may be going on just outside the screenshot. Should the camera be pointed in a different direction or panned out a little, suddenly things become much clearer; there is more context to interpret. This image might lead one to believe that this moment in my life was destructive and a time I would not wish to relive. But let me show you more.

This day was the birthday of my first nephew and boy did he take my breath away! Though there were tears, they were tears that brought great joy!

In church a few weeks ago we were discussing how life is a series of snapshots and how sometimes our view is limited to only those things we are focused on. I couldn't help but think of this photograph and how it was such a great visual for that lesson. You see sometimes in life there are tearful moments. There are things we do not understand; pain that it seems cannot possibly be used for good. It is so easy to get caught up in just the details we can see, but God sees a much broader picture than the snapshot we hold. While our lens tends to zoom in on the close-up and personal tears, God's lens pans out and sees how those tears are part of a much larger picture. We tend to be focused on the immediate, God sees the eternal. We see the heartache, God sees new life.

You may be in a season of tears. Maybe your breath has been taken away. Be reminded that this is just part of your picture. It is a snapshot that is part of a much larger image, a still-shot taken out of context. Sometimes the tears are a part of new life! This is not the end of your story, it is a beginning!
Say cheese!

 1 Corinthians 13:12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known