In 2013, I was diagnosed with Stage IV Thymoma, a rare cancer. I call it The Nuisance. 2018 brought round two and 2019 kicked off round three. I am working to live each day "As If" - As if I am healed, as if I have no worries, as if I have no fear! This blog chronicles my journey through life and the lessons learned. What was meant to keep me down has given me more than I could ever have dreamed. I hope it helps you on your path as well!
Showing posts with label NED. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NED. Show all posts
Saturday, January 25, 2014
As If...
Each morning we awaken with choices. I think of them as the great "AS IFs". We can live as if we have to go to work, or we can live as if we get to go to work. We live as if we have to cook dinner, or as if we get to cook dinner. We choose to live as if we have to exercise, or live as if we get to exercise. We choose to live as if we have to serve our spouse, or if we get to; if we have to do things for our children, or we get to. You get the picture? Each day is a series of choices about how we choose to live our lives. The choices we make determine the quality of our life experiences. We are not at the mercy of fate, predestination, or our circumstances. In all things we have choice in how we will ultimately react.
This week I received news that I hoped to never hear again. It seems that The Nuisance is back on the prowl. There are two spots that appear to be growing; one on my diaghram and another on my chest wall. We are uncertain what that means right now. There are questions about the rate of growth, if there are other spots that may be hiding, and even the slimmest possibility that it is just the way they appear on the CT scan. At this point there is little to do, but wait and see. I am to return to MD Anderson in March for another round of tests to see what the little boogers are up to and then we will begin to formulate a game plan. For now we wait and see...and pray. So now I am faced with one of life's biggest AS IFs. How will I live for the next two months? Shall I be afraid? Hold my breath? Worry about the possibilities? Dread the future? HECK NO!!!! I WILL LIVE MY LIFE AS IF I AM HEALED!!!! I WILL LIVE MY LIFE AS IF I AM FREE FROM FEAR!!!! I refuse to bow before the altar of despair and defeat. I will bow before my God in thanks for each day and live my life AS IF there is nothing to fear!!!
I can choose to live AS IF because I have been promised these (and many other) things:
Psalm 27:1-3
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When the wicked advance against me
to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
who will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.
Exodus 14:14
The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still.
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Joshua 1:9 NIV
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
John 8:36
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
You see, I am free! My price has been paid. My strength is not my own, but comes from my Lord, Jesus Christ. He willingly fights on my behalf and tells me to be strong and courageous. He is with me. I will live my life AS IF I have nothing to fear and when I stumble I will get back up and do it again. I am not victim of circumstance or disease. I am a child of God! So take THAT Nuisance and prepare to be destroyed!!!
So how about you? How would you complete this sentence: "I am living my life AS IF..."? Are you going through the motions? Tortured by dread and fear? Living AS IF you are beaten, bored, burdened, broken? You have a choice, my sweet friend! You do not control your circumstance, but they don't control you either! Choose to live AS IF you are blessed, because we are. You have one who is willing to fight for you, you need only be still!!
Pray me on. God has shown us remarkable things. He is not done!
Friday, May 24, 2013
From One Ned to Another
NED- No Evidence of Disease. What a beautiful classification. Yesterday when I received that description, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of it. I felt as if I were seeing a glimpse of heaven. It is just a small sample of what we will feel when we stand before the Father and all sin and sickness is erased. We know there will be no tears in heaven, but that is hard for me to believe since yesterday tears flowed so freely as I absorbed the enormity of the gift of healing!
It got me to thinking on a larger scale. Do you realize that through forgiveness, we are all allowed to be Ned not only a physical level, but on a spiritual level as well? It is so beautiful to me that when I mess up and sin enters my life, God's forgiveness washes all that away. No matter how far I go from Him, no matter how badly I have behaved, God can forgive me and when He does, I am left with No Evidence of Disease.
The same is true for you! Maybe you are in a place where you feel you have been gone too long, you have strayed too far, you have done too much... You may feel like you can never be healed. I am living proof that God, the Great Physician, can heal all hurts. We only have to ask! When we do, He gladly nicknames us Ned!
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