Tomorrow

I once read a quote that said, "Tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith." On days like today when I am on my way to MD Anderson for further tests, I become more aware of that choice than ever. As the day draws closer I have to work harder and harder to hold my thoughts captive. How easy it would be to spend today in fear of tomorrow, but what would that accomplish? The Bible he says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Worrying only robs me of today. A beautiful day.

I continue to learn lessons about fear and worry. One of the greatest is that the fears in my mind always seem to turn out to be much greater than the reality. Not that the reality isn't amazingly frightening sometimes, because I assure you it is. But God dwells in reality. He gives me strength to handle whatever lies in my reality. But fears and what ifs, that is a different story. The fears that can brew in my mind are like a mist. I see them in my mind's eye. I feel them in my heart. But when I reach out to touch them, I discover they are not tangible. I am trying to grasp something that does not, and may never, exist. In the movie After Earth, Will Smith's character says, "Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice. "  How much time do we waste on fear, and how many fears never come true? Such a sad waste of time. While that is often the case, I have also been in those moments when fear becomes reality. When the words I dreaded the most are spoken. I have to tell you that I have found a wonderful truth there as well. Each time God has been faithful and met each of my needs. What I thought I couldn't handle, God could. What I thought I couldn't bear, God did. I have to remind myself of those things on days like today.

Tomorrow has two handles. As I head towards Houston I can choose to grab it with anxiety/fear, or with faith.  My past 18 months God has proven to be faithful. He has consistently answered our prayers. He has consistently brought light to darkness. He has consistently kept his promises to me.
So "I will have no fear of bad news; my heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD." Psalm 112:7. Whatever lies ahead, God has got it!

Thank you as always for being a part of my army. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. God is good! All the time!! 

Prayer opportunities:
Wednesday 11:45.  Labs and CT scan
Thursday 1:00 Oncologist
Friday 9:00 Surgeon