The Deep End

When I was a kid I took swimming lessons. I learned to float, hold my breath, kick my legs. I learned  to stroke through the water with my arms, and tread water. After weeks of "training" the day came to put all the practice into action. I had to jump off the diving board, but I wasn't afraid. My swimming teacher swam out to the deep end and stretched out his arms. I held my breath and ran and jumped. I survived! I was not afraid. Why? Some of you know my swimming teacher. His name is Rocky Blair. For those of you who don't know him, he is a TALL man. To me as a kid, I thought he was a giant! You know why I wasn't afraid? Because I was sure that Rocky was touching the bottom of that 10 foot pool.

I couldn't help but think of that story last night because once again I am in the deep end. I am here at MD Anderson facing round two of The Nuisance (aka Cancer). I sure didn't plan to be doing this again so soon, but the experience this time is different. Last year as I sat in this very chair in the waiting room, I was trembling with fear. Tears were threatening to flood my cheeks and I felt totally lost. It was as though I was a child who had not been taught to swim, thrown into the deep water. I was flailing, kicking, crying for help. I couldn't find my bearings. I thought at moments I would drown. But my lifeguard was quick to rescue me. He surrounded me with his love and comfort. He saw me safely to shore. As he held me on his arms I was able to find my bearings. I was able to float. I survived.

Lessons learned in the pool of The Nuisance last year have made this time easier somehow. This time I have my bearings. I know how to tread water. I know how to float when I am tired. I know I am going to go under sometimes, but I also know I am going to come back up and will be able to grab a breath. Above all else, I know that I have a strong and mighty lifeguard who is in the water with me. He stands ready to rescue me when I am going under. Although Rocky was just a giant in my mind's eye, my LIFE-guard, my God, is a giant in reality. I have no need he cannot meet. There is no water too deep, no current too strong, for him to reach me. He says, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."  Isaiah 43:2. I am safe and secure--- and blessed. Oh, how I am blessed!!

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Your cards, calls, texts, and prayers are our air. Any moment now, the nurse will step out and call my name. It will be my turn to jump off the diving board. My LIFEguard stands ready to catch me. Think I'll do a cannonball to make the biggest splash I can!!

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."Romans 8:38-39