Saturday, July 19, 2014
It is funny how life brings all kinds of "new normals" to us. Leaving your parents home after graduation, getting married, having children, getting a new job--- each of these life events take us to a new place in life where we have to reorganize and prioritize. Our routines change, our finances change, life shifts to a new normal. I realized this week that my life has found a lot of new normals. There is the new normal of a few aches and pains, reminders of surgeries past. There is the new normal of curly hair after years of bone straight. There is the new normal of vacation time being spent traveling for medical care--and I am so grateful for that care! This week we returned to MD Anderson for my check up and received great news that the spots they are watching for cancer are stable. There are no new places and the existing ones remain unchanged. We will go back in 4 months and repeat the process. If, wait-- I should say WHEN, I get to 2 years of being stable, the scans will take place every 6 months. For now I have been given 4 months that feel like freedom. 4 months of no treatment. 4 months of no surgery. 4 months that I can plan my life as much as any other human can plan theirs (although we are all foolish to think we can really plan our futures, but you now what I mean).
As I got in the car after receiving the good news, my mind was suddenly filled with this image of me on stepping stones that were scattered across a raging river. For now I am safely standing on a stone. Behind me are years of boulders I have safely used to cross rough waters-- or at least could climb back up on after I slipped. Ahead of me are who knows how many stones. Below me is a wild river. At this time the water that threatens me most is "The Nuisance", but blended in are the typical waters of life-- parenthood, marriage, finances, job security, safety.... In order to make progress in life I must leap from stone to stone. For the moment I am able to stand safely on this rock, catch my breath, enjoy the view, and take in a little sunshine. In four months (unless life throws another curve ball) it will be time to take the next leap of faith. If I become paralyzed by fear, doubt, anger, discouragement, or hopelessness then I am unable to take the leap of faith required to move forward to the next stepping stone. In fact, the stepping stone looks more like a stumbling block. If I focus on the raging rapids, I become incapacitated. The desire for safety and security can trick me into thinking I can't take that next jump. It is too far away, I might fall. The water is moving too fast, I cannot jump. I get focused on the river of fear and my footing becomes weak. Instead I must focus on the rock ahead. Psalm 18:12 says, "The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." In order to jump safely, I must focus on God, my rock. When I leap to him, ignoring the fears around me, I am safe on a fortress. I am delivered. Once again I can take refuge and stand securely until it is time for the next move. God is a rock and on Him I am safe and sound.
We all have rivers of life swiftly moving around us. Maybe you have slipped and feel like you are drowning in it right now. Maybe you are in a safe place and basking in the sun. Maybe you are preparing for a big leap and working up your faith. Wherever you are, I can testify to this: God is a rock and on him you can stand!!!