An Open Letter

This morning I stood in church surrounded by people in their Sunday best. This is not just any Sunday. This is the Sunday we celebrate the resurrection of Christ.  It is the day that we celebrate a living God. (Now if you are not a believer, please don't stop reading, you are part of the reason I have to write! Please read on!) As I stood and sang, a prayer raced through my mind.  Normally I would consider my prayers to be very private and personal, meant for me and God. Normally I wouldn't consider posting them, but as I was flooded with thankfulness, I had a nudging to share. For those of you new to my world, this year I was diagnosed with a rare cancer (I call it a Nuisance and only use the "c" word when I have to be clear to others-- I do not claim it or give it power in my life.)  Because of my journey  I have seen with greater clarity how real and alive He is. He is a God that gives amazing gifts. The gifts I have been given were never intended only for me. They were intended to show that God is real. They were intended to show what He can do and how much He loves His children. The blessings I have been shown are messages to others about what God longs to do for each of us. My brother-in-law, David, told me once that his grandfather always said, "In troubling times God's children have His complete attention." I have found that to be so true. So I share my prayer, not to bring attention to me, but to bring glory to God, because HE is good. I share it that you can experience it, too!

An Open Letter to God

Dear God,

There are some gifts that are so amazing that thank you is insufficient. The words I say to show appreciation on a daily basis to people who are helpful--the waiter, the person that holds the door, the bank teller--seem so underrated when offered to you.  As if the sacrifice of your one and only son was not enough, you daily seek to show me how personally you love me. That has been an amazing experience for me. The gift of Christ is an incredible gift and I hate to confess it, but there are times that I have thought of it almost as a gift for the masses, something you did for all mankind, but for me? Would you have done it for me alone? Through your daily gifts I have learned that the answer to that question is an undeniable yes! How can I know that? How can others believe it? Because I have seen the proof. Just as Mary and John and Peter witnessed the empty tomb, the proof that Christ was alive, I have seen the proof that you are alive in me. God, I am so grateful that although I walk along a dark path, I am not engulfed in the darkness. You have brought light to every day. Though my mind is often filled with frightening thoughts, you take those thoughts captive and allow me to see hope. Though it would be so easy to sink, you make sure that I remain afloat. At just the right time you send people, songs, card, calls to remind me of your love, to remind me you see me. Though my body is under attack,  you have given me strength not only to walk, but to run. This experience has been meant to harm me, but you have used it for good. You are real. You are alive. You are not for the masses, but for the individuals who make up the masses. How sad that it takes me being knocked to my knees to recognize your great, personal love for me. If that is what it takes, then I am grateful.  I know, Father, that "the nuisance" is not from you, because you give perfect gifts, but I know that you use all things for my good. Thank you that when I am knocked down, you lift my chin, look  in my eyes and gently care for me. Thank you for seeing me, for dying for me and for living for me. May I never again take for granted how much YOU love ME. 

Love,

Anna

(A note to the reader:   Don't wait for a crisis to see God's presence in your life. He daily seeks to get your attention. Watch for him in the sunset tonight. See him in a smile tomorrow. Hear him in the laughter of your children. Feel him when your loved one holds your hand. Recognize him when you are shown exceptional kindness.  Do not believe He doesn't know you individually, for He most certainly does. He created you, loves you and hovers about you even as you read this. Your heart recognizes Him, even though your mind may downplay the logic of Him. He is not logic, so don't attempt to rationalize Him. He is love, be loved by Him. Believe. I am proof He is alive and well.)