In 2013, I was diagnosed with Stage IV Thymoma, a rare cancer. I call it The Nuisance. 2018 brought round two and 2019 kicked off round three. I am working to live each day "As If" - As if I am healed, as if I have no worries, as if I have no fear! This blog chronicles my journey through life and the lessons learned. What was meant to keep me down has given me more than I could ever have dreamed. I hope it helps you on your path as well!
Friday, July 27, 2012
Mine...Not Mine
I am not sure when it changed. It was so subtle that I didn't notice it happening. For years my ears had grown accustomed to the sound of, "Mine!"
As the mother of twins, it was an all too familiar expression. Before the boys could speak they had their own preferences for which of two identical items belonged to them. It began with teething toys. They wordlessly struggled to get, "Mine!".
Then the words came. Now they "knew" which of the identical bikes were "Mine!". This identical scooter is "Mine!" This identical wii controller is "Mine!". This identical shirts is, "Mine!". This mommy is "Mine!".
But something has shifted. Some of the items are not identical as they have developed their own preferences, but that is not the change that snuck up on me. The one I can't explain is how "Mine!" has morphed into "Not mine!"
I enter the living room and pick up the basketball cards on the couch. When I ask who's they are I am quickly told (by both voices) "Not mine!"
"Who's shoes? "
"Not mine!"
"Who's book?"
Well, course, "Not mine!"
Isn't it funny. ..before everything was "Mine!" even when it wasn't. Now everything is "Not mine" even when it is! There is bound to be a spiritual lesson in there somewhere, but it is "Not mine!" (spoken with my tongue in cheek).
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