Today I had the pleasure of listening to an assembly by a man named Alex Sheen called “Because I Said I Would” (https://becauseisaidiwould.org/). It was a lesson on being a person of your word and of character -- something greatly needed in our world these days. Alex’s story, and ultimately his movement, was sparked by the loss of his father to Stage 4 cancer. I am not going to lie. When I listened to him tell of the impact of that loss I could feel the fear and panic creep up my soul. I stepped behind a column to try to gain my composure but it was a lost cause. I left the auditorium and slipped to the quiet dark of the backstage area and repeated a process that has served me well in the past six years. I ran to words to calm my soul.
“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”
I was reminded of all the times He has hidden me in the feathers of his wings. I recalled the times He has calmed my terrors and quieted my soul. I began counting the times He has rescued me from the impossible. Gradually the fear began to subside. Sometimes the calming of the fear and anxiety is abrupt and stops sharply. Other times the process reminds me of the wave pool at water parks. The water doesn’t stop rocking just because someone flipped a switch. The waves can continue to come for a few moments after the calming begins. I was experiencing that today. I would start to feel the fear reside and another wave would follow. What if??? What IF?! WHAT IF?!?!?!!!
Just when I felt like I was going back under a reminder popped up on my phone. I glanced down to see, the verse...
“I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91:2. A verse from the very scripture I had run to.
It was as if God said, “Okay, Anna. I guess you didn’t hear me so I will repeat it for you slowly. Chill out! I am your refuge. I’ve got this! Trust me.”
And just like that the wave pool went still.
I don’t know what your fears and anxieties are. But God does. And he cares enough to repeat himself when you are scared and worried. Just like he met me in the darkness of backstage he is happy to meet you! And if you need him to tell you more than once? Well, He loves you so much he will gladly do so!
PS I HAD TO COME BACK AND ADD THIS! As I was closing down for the night I thought I would look at the verse one more time. I went to my bible app to read it. Below is a screenshot of the verse of the day. It is not the verse that popped up on my phone at 9:12 this morning. I cannot find that one on here anywhere. I would say I don't know how that could happen, but I guess that isn't true. He can do all things!
P.S.S.-- I had to add more! My sister texted me this morning to point out that the screenshot I posted of Psalm 91:2 popping up on my phone was taken at 9:12. Yet another reminder that God sees me. He is intentional in his timing and in His reminders of His love. 9:12, Psalm 91:2, "I see you, Anna. I know how you feel right this minute. I know just the words you need. It is 9:12 and I want you to know I am your refuge. I told you so in Psalm 91:2. Read it again. P.S.- I love you."
